It happened the other day. I was working with a group of emerging leaders in the public health and HIV space, and we were talking about leadership strengths. The question was simple: "What's a strength in you as a leader?" The answers came fast: service, wanting to see people well, selflessness. I stopped there. Not because those answers were wrong, but because they were incomplete. "I love that we're naming these," I said. "And I want to highlight something: we tend to conflate good...

There was a moment in session when the word joy itself felt unfamiliar.Not because my client didn’t understand the concept, but because he had spent so much of his life surviving that joy never had the chance to become sustainable. When we first explored what joy felt like in his body, his response was tears. Not dramatic tears. Not performative tears.The kind that come when someone realizes they’ve spent years carrying exhaustion, hypervigilance, responsibility, grief, and emotional...

Recently, I had a heartfelt conversation with a friend navigating the tender aftermath of a situationship that didn't last. It was a few months, yet held vulnerability and honesty. Naturally, she began calling it a failure, something to overanalyze, minimize, and dismiss out of defense. As we sat with it, another story emerged; even though it ended, something important happened. She felt chosen. She went on dates. She were flirted with, adored, held in public. And for the first time in a...